People of all political backgrounds have been wondering if the GOP presumptive nominee will lose that modifier at this week’s Republican National Convention. In anticipation, many Republicans who can’t support a Nominee Trump and fear life under a President Trump have been trying to mount an effort to preemptively dethrone the candidate before the crown can take the place of his red cap.
So far, this effort, which has focused on the convention’s rules and their interpretation, has been in vain. It seems quite likely at this point that Donald Trump will leave Cleveland with the nomination, a prize that his campaign insists he rightfully earned.
But there may be another way.
Oh, Oh, Oh, It’s Magic
I have seen magicians accomplish the impressive feat of making a live elephant disappear. In similar fashion, Never Trump Republicans who are planning to attend this week’s convention might just be able to get the GOP’s top elephant to retreat to his eponymous tower with some old-fashioned hocus-pocus.
In fact, there’s evidence to suggest that such an unorthodox strategy may have already been contemplated.
In March, Republican lawmakers introduced House Resolution 642, “recognizing magic as a rare and valuable art form and national treasure.” (And you thought Congress does nothing.) It’s entirely possible that some of the resolution’s cosponsors were thinking about He Who Will Not Be Named. Curiously, the resolution appeared out of thin air just a few months after Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling tweeted that “Voldemort was nowhere near as bad,” referring to Donald Trump’s proposed Muslim immigration ban.
So, what’s a Never Trump Republican Muggle to do?
5 Spells for Never Trump Republicans to Try in Cleveland
As of this writing, Hogwarts doesn’t accept Americans, and you won’t find a Defense Against the Dark Arts class in any adult education brochure. So, with little time remaining, I offer convention attendees some spells they can practice for use in Ohio.
Please attempt these spells at your own risk:
- Delegatus Non Legatus
This spell unbinds all delegates, leaving them to follow their conscience and vote their will.
- Crucio Rubio
This spell hands the nomination to one of Trump’s primary opponents, rules be damned.
- Albus Eques
This spell randomly taps Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney, or another white knight candidate to win the support of enough convention delegates.
- Iracundia Leviosa
This spell transforms Trump into a more predictable, reasonable, refined, and mild-mannered candidate before he can become the official nominee.
- Veni Vidi Vici Abeo
This spell lets Trump become the nominee only to quit, proving a point while creating an opening for another candidate. In a way, everyone wins.
Kings and Things to Take by Storm
The timely introduction of House Resolution 642 suggests that there’s magic to do. Not surprisingly, given this unpredictable election cycle, my crystal ball refuses to reveal to me what will happen in Cleveland this week. But I am reasonably confident that with the right incantation, Never Trump Republicans who attend the convention may be able to send the provocative pachyderm packing.
Ron Leshnower is the author of books and articles exploring a range of topics.
Follow him on Twitter (@hillocrian) and visit hillocriancreative.com.